My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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