no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
