Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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