You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
