my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
