and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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