I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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