Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize