One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
