sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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