Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
