these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
