Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you would pick up someone in the library
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
