Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
