he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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