toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
