just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
