It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
