He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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