the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
