I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize