A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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