Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There r osticjed everywhere
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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