So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
