At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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