I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
