all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
