I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Floor bacon is actually really good
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