:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
