if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
That reminds me...we need to get swords
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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