Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
