found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
the day after is always just damage control
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
