Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
