We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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