carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
