As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
