I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
