What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He called his prostate his "boner button".
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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