We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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