just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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