these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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