More tranny stories later!
I look better un-naked...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
