some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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