You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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