thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
