There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
