I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
