Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
