Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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