I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
