when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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