i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
