..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
