The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize