what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
