How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
