I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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