his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
