i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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